Burning Furnace of Charity

The other day in BT, I stopped by to see Liliana. She had moved rooms and I started asking why. Turns out, she can’t afford the less than $30/week rent in her old room. Now she is in a room that is less visible and not as nice, so she pays half of that in weekly rent. She didn’t have the money that day, and was very concerned for Saturday when it would be due. She was telling me how she’s old now, and no one wants her anymore. There isn’t much work for an old woman in Boys Town, she told me. She was also sick and needed medicine. I started asking her about whom she works for and how it all works there – she told me she doesn’t work for anyone. She only has to pay rent to the owner there. She told me that when Kilo was there, she never paid rent; he always paid it for her. He also took her to the doctor when she was sick. She and I both were teary eyed as she talked about him. He was like a son to her, she said. I miss him, too.

On Sunday, I went to pick up Karina for our planned lunch at my house. She was working when I got there, so that was a little awkward. We had about an hour to wait, so Erin and I made our way back to Liliana’s room. I had planned to see her, so I brought some sheets for her and a lipstick case that secretly had $10 stashed in it. She liked the color of lipstick, the sheets were “priceless” to her, and the $10 let her know that God loves her and so do I (her words, not mine). That was her rent money, and I think she was genuinely happy. I think she invited me and Erin for lunch on Thursday – I’ll probably never want for food as long as I have friends in BT. ☺ Erin asked Liliana if she had a dream for her life. She quickly replied that she’d open a restaurant with her son and serve Cuban food. (She is very proud to be from Cuba.) Please, God, let it be. I know it seems impossibly far away for Liliana, but all things are possible with God.

I also talked to Paolina yesterday. I think that was the first time we’ve ever had a real conversation. She’s normally pretty distant with me. Though, last week, Erin and I were in there and she was watching LOST. This was naturally an instant connection point for us. ☺ I think that might have won her over as I gushed in my broken Spanish about how much I love Sawyer. And Jack. And the whole show. Maybe it made us both more human for a moment. Yesterday, I was really surprised at how she just opened up to me. One minute we were talking about my little dog and her cat, the next she was saying, “I just don’t understand why life is like this, Kelly. Why did God put me here?” Well, I thought she’d never ask! I pulled out Spanish I didn’t know I had as we sat and talked about the deep questions of life and what it’s all about. She always thought that God put everything in our lives, even the bad things that happen. I told her about my brother and how he had been murdered only 10 days before I moved here. I still don’t understand all of it, but I do know that Jesus asked me to be here to share His love with the precious people of BT. I told her that there is a whole world that we can’t see; we don’t need to be afraid of it, but we need to know that there are other forces besides God at work. I told her the enemy only wants to destroy and kill and rob our lives. God only wants what’s best for us. He didn’t make us robots, so we’d have to choose Him. But we have to choose Him; He’ll never make us choose something against our will. I told her I didn’t have all the answers. I just know these things for sure in this life: Jesus knows your name, he knows the story of your life, and he loves you a lot. I really felt like we were communicating, and it was super exciting breakthrough, at least for me.

Karina was done working and we began our afternoon adventure. We first went to the grocery store and she showed me how to choose the poblanos that aren’t too spicy and got the rest of the things we’d need for lunch. Then we came back to the house and she taught me how to make two different kinds of chiles poblanos. I felt like I was with my aunt or something as we talked about cooking and life and how she got to BT and her kids…it was such real life and I loved it. We had an amazing meal, and spent about 7 hours together all said and done. I can’t wait to have the house over in Aquiles so that’s a normal occurrence.

I read this writing this week, and it really made me think about how my heart feels, especially being in BT the last two years. It’s from Steven James’ book Story.

Lover of my soul, I’ve been unfaithful.

Flirting with the lurid promises
Of fortune and glory and passion and fame,
Of lust and pride and greed and comfort.
I’ve followed them into the bedroom
Where I think no one will find me.
Where I hope you’re not watching.
Where we live out our fantasies together.
I’ve slept in the arms of so many lovers
But they’ve left me hollowed out,
A corpse and an empty casing tumbling in the wind.

I’ve cheated on you again and again.
In the red-light district of my soul.