There is a girl named Crystal who lives in Boys Town. She just turned 21 a few weeks ago, and I can't get her out of my head. I first met her in March when a team of college students from Tulsa visited, and we cleaned some bathrooms and rooms in BT. Lots of the girls and guys were glad we came to clean; Crystal was not one of them. She is fluent in English and Spanish, and can clearly tell me where to go and what to do in both languages. She has always made a point of letting me know how she feels for me. For some reason this makes me love Crystal all the more. I hadn't seen Crystal in a few months when she came around the corner a few weeks ago. For the first time ever, she simply said hi to me! I tried to play it cool, but I'm sure I had a big grin on my face. "Long time, no see, Crystal." She didn't say much, but she did say it was good to see me. We talked again a few days later when I learned that she grew up in Michoacan, but doesn't have family anymore. I don't know what specifically brought her to BT, but she doesn't seem to have anywhere else to go. A couple of things were clear: she didn't have warm clothes, and she wasn't going to be receiving any Christmas presents. I brought her a gift a few days later to remedy the warm clothing issue. I found her sound asleep in her room and put her gift under her head so no one would steal it. Her friend, Bon-bon, told me that Crystal is pregnant and very sick. I went to BT yesterday and Crystal came to find me and told me thank you for the present! You have no idea how shocking this was to me, though again I tried to play it cool. We talked for a while about the baby and her medical needs. I finally found the courage to ask her if she ever thought about leaving BT. I knew I was risking our newfound friendship with this question, but I had to chance it. I told her when she was ready, we should talk. I could find someone to teach her how to cut hair and do make-up. (She really liked that idea!) Maybe one day she can open a salon here where she shares life with the girls of BT and helps them find courage to get out, just like she did.
On the wall of our little prayer room here in Reynosa is written the name "Crystal" with lots of verses around it. Back in April the crew from the Kansas City Boiler Room also met Crystal and prayed for her. Amazing how God hears our sleepy prayers at 3 in the morning, reads our markings on the walls, and takes it all as sweet incense. How beautiful to see a work that only Jesus could do, to see Him answering prayers before our very eyes. Please pray for Crystal - that the Spirit of the Living God would continue to soften her heart and build a friendship between us, and that she would find the courage to say "yes" to Jesus in her heart.
"The Lord will hold Crystal in His hand for all to see- a splendid crown in the hand of God. Never again will she be called 'The Forsaken City,' or 'The Desolate Land.' Her new name will be 'The City of God's Delight,' and 'The Bride of God,' for the Lord delights in Crystal and will claim her as His bride." Isaiah 62:3-4
Jailbirds, Dreams, Visions, and my everday life in BT
7 Comments Published by Boys Town on Saturday, December 9, 2006 at 12:06 PM.
I saw Liliana today…just before she was taken away in handcuffs for stealing, apparently. She told me she didn’t have money for rent again and she had been sick in bed for the last three days, so no work. I asked her what she was going to do. She said she’d probably steal. “I’m sorry, but I will,” she said.
Shortly after I left Liliana, I saw Virginia (who sometimes goes by Vicky- she's probably in her 40's and cleans inside BT, as well as collects cans to earn money) sitting on the edge of the sidewalk, all bundled up like the abominable snowman. She was burning some trash on the very wet street in hopes of some warmth. I sat with her and listened to her talk about how life is very hard there for her. She began to cry as she told me how people there are very mean. “When you are nice, they don’t help you. When you’re mean, they don’t help you. It doesn’t matter; just no one will help you here.”
I searched and searched my heart in hopes of finding something encouraging to tell her. I just said, “Vicky, I don’t have many answers. I only know the things that Jesus has told us. His words are living, not just like the words in other books. He says that in this world, we’ll have lots of problems, but He will always be with us.” I started to kind of fumble through something else. Then Vicky interrupted me with the excitement of a little girl and said, “Oh, sister, forgive me for interrupting you! I meant to tell you – last night I had a dream. I dreamt I was in my mother’s house and I woke up to come to BT. When I got here, I found the brothers and sisters [they often call Christians "brothers and sisters"] – 3 of you girls and 3 guys. You were doing miracles, but without words. I kept wondering, ‘What happened? Why is it so different here?’ So strange, no?”
Just as I was attempting to process this miraculous dream that God had given to little leathery Vicky, she told me that about 6 nights ago, “I saw Jesus!” And, very tongue-in-cheek, she added, “And he wasn’t blonde.” (Well said, Vicky!) “He had black hair that wasn’t long and it wasn’t short. He had a beard that was also black and he wore glasses. He was VERY handsome! And he drove a super modern truck, not like those cockroaches you see around here.” With her whole heart and with her eyes gazing off in the distance, she told me the story of how Jesus had met her on the street near her mother's house at about 2 in the morning. He asked her where she lived and she told him very close. He told her to be careful because this was a very dangerous path. Many times He told her, “God bless you,” and “be careful.” Then He got in his "super modern" truck and he was gone. She went home and began thinking; then she said to herself, “That was Jesus!” Then she began to sing to me right there on the street, “Jesus Christ is here in this place; I have seen him with my eyes.” And she looked me in the eyes and told me, “He is here, sister.” Indeed, He is.
You could say that these were nothing more than the crazy rants of an old woman who is weathered by a difficult life in BT. Or, you could have heard what I heard – the beautiful story of a precious little woman that God thinks about all the time, the story of little Vicky whom Jesus sings about in the middle of the night while you and I are asleep and she’s walking home on a dangerous road. I have prayed for over two years that Jesus would show Himself in dreams and in visions to the people of BT. Well, He’s doing it. I don’t understand anything of spirituality anymore. I used to think I knew what a prophet looked like and smelled like and acted like. Now, I’ve heard the words of God through a little leathery woman named Vicky. God will do what He wants to do. Sometimes it looks a lot like what we thought, and sometimes it looks like a King coming in the form of a homeless baby shrouded in rumors, or a prophetic word coming in the form of a leathery woman who earns a living these days by collecting empty beer cans in a red-light district. God is super unpredictable. He is beautiful; in fact He’s very good looking, drives a super modern truck and is anything but blonde, apparently. I just know that He is the most eccentric, consistent, wise, kind, gentle, passionate, brilliant, creative, caring, wild, loving, fun, partying, powerful, humble, and intimate friend I know or ever could know. How He knows my name is an endless mystery to me. I love Him.
Shortly after I left Liliana, I saw Virginia (who sometimes goes by Vicky- she's probably in her 40's and cleans inside BT, as well as collects cans to earn money) sitting on the edge of the sidewalk, all bundled up like the abominable snowman. She was burning some trash on the very wet street in hopes of some warmth. I sat with her and listened to her talk about how life is very hard there for her. She began to cry as she told me how people there are very mean. “When you are nice, they don’t help you. When you’re mean, they don’t help you. It doesn’t matter; just no one will help you here.”
I searched and searched my heart in hopes of finding something encouraging to tell her. I just said, “Vicky, I don’t have many answers. I only know the things that Jesus has told us. His words are living, not just like the words in other books. He says that in this world, we’ll have lots of problems, but He will always be with us.” I started to kind of fumble through something else. Then Vicky interrupted me with the excitement of a little girl and said, “Oh, sister, forgive me for interrupting you! I meant to tell you – last night I had a dream. I dreamt I was in my mother’s house and I woke up to come to BT. When I got here, I found the brothers and sisters [they often call Christians "brothers and sisters"] – 3 of you girls and 3 guys. You were doing miracles, but without words. I kept wondering, ‘What happened? Why is it so different here?’ So strange, no?”
Just as I was attempting to process this miraculous dream that God had given to little leathery Vicky, she told me that about 6 nights ago, “I saw Jesus!” And, very tongue-in-cheek, she added, “And he wasn’t blonde.” (Well said, Vicky!) “He had black hair that wasn’t long and it wasn’t short. He had a beard that was also black and he wore glasses. He was VERY handsome! And he drove a super modern truck, not like those cockroaches you see around here.” With her whole heart and with her eyes gazing off in the distance, she told me the story of how Jesus had met her on the street near her mother's house at about 2 in the morning. He asked her where she lived and she told him very close. He told her to be careful because this was a very dangerous path. Many times He told her, “God bless you,” and “be careful.” Then He got in his "super modern" truck and he was gone. She went home and began thinking; then she said to herself, “That was Jesus!” Then she began to sing to me right there on the street, “Jesus Christ is here in this place; I have seen him with my eyes.” And she looked me in the eyes and told me, “He is here, sister.” Indeed, He is.
You could say that these were nothing more than the crazy rants of an old woman who is weathered by a difficult life in BT. Or, you could have heard what I heard – the beautiful story of a precious little woman that God thinks about all the time, the story of little Vicky whom Jesus sings about in the middle of the night while you and I are asleep and she’s walking home on a dangerous road. I have prayed for over two years that Jesus would show Himself in dreams and in visions to the people of BT. Well, He’s doing it. I don’t understand anything of spirituality anymore. I used to think I knew what a prophet looked like and smelled like and acted like. Now, I’ve heard the words of God through a little leathery woman named Vicky. God will do what He wants to do. Sometimes it looks a lot like what we thought, and sometimes it looks like a King coming in the form of a homeless baby shrouded in rumors, or a prophetic word coming in the form of a leathery woman who earns a living these days by collecting empty beer cans in a red-light district. God is super unpredictable. He is beautiful; in fact He’s very good looking, drives a super modern truck and is anything but blonde, apparently. I just know that He is the most eccentric, consistent, wise, kind, gentle, passionate, brilliant, creative, caring, wild, loving, fun, partying, powerful, humble, and intimate friend I know or ever could know. How He knows my name is an endless mystery to me. I love Him.
Liliana and Sunday Lunch with Aunt Karina
2 Comments Published by Boys Town on Wednesday, December 6, 2006 at 11:06 AM.
The other day in BT, I stopped by to see Liliana. She had moved rooms and I started asking why. Turns out, she can’t afford the less than $30/week rent in her old room. Now she is in a room that is less visible and not as nice, so she pays half of that in weekly rent. She didn’t have the money that day, and was very concerned for Saturday when it would be due. She was telling me how she’s old now, and no one wants her anymore. There isn’t much work for an old woman in Boys Town, she told me. She was also sick and needed medicine. I started asking her about whom she works for and how it all works there – she told me she doesn’t work for anyone. She only has to pay rent to the owner there. She told me that when Kilo was there, she never paid rent; he always paid it for her. He also took her to the doctor when she was sick. She and I both were teary eyed as she talked about him. He was like a son to her, she said. I miss him, too.
On Sunday, I went to pick up Karina for our planned lunch at my house. She was working when I got there, so that was a little awkward. We had about an hour to wait, so Erin and I made our way back to Liliana’s room. I had planned to see her, so I brought some sheets for her and a lipstick case that secretly had $10 stashed in it. She liked the color of lipstick, the sheets were “priceless” to her, and the $10 let her know that God loves her and so do I (her words, not mine). That was her rent money, and I think she was genuinely happy. I think she invited me and Erin for lunch on Thursday – I’ll probably never want for food as long as I have friends in BT. ☺ Erin asked Liliana if she had a dream for her life. She quickly replied that she’d open a restaurant with her son and serve Cuban food. (She is very proud to be from Cuba.) Please, God, let it be. I know it seems impossibly far away for Liliana, but all things are possible with God.
I also talked to Paolina yesterday. I think that was the first time we’ve ever had a real conversation. She’s normally pretty distant with me. Though, last week, Erin and I were in there and she was watching LOST. This was naturally an instant connection point for us. ☺ I think that might have won her over as I gushed in my broken Spanish about how much I love Sawyer. And Jack. And the whole show. Maybe it made us both more human for a moment. Yesterday, I was really surprised at how she just opened up to me. One minute we were talking about my little dog and her cat, the next she was saying, “I just don’t understand why life is like this, Kelly. Why did God put me here?” Well, I thought she’d never ask! I pulled out Spanish I didn’t know I had as we sat and talked about the deep questions of life and what it’s all about. She always thought that God put everything in our lives, even the bad things that happen. I told her about my brother and how he had been murdered only 10 days before I moved here. I still don’t understand all of it, but I do know that Jesus asked me to be here to share His love with the precious people of BT. I told her that there is a whole world that we can’t see; we don’t need to be afraid of it, but we need to know that there are other forces besides God at work. I told her the enemy only wants to destroy and kill and rob our lives. God only wants what’s best for us. He didn’t make us robots, so we’d have to choose Him. But we have to choose Him; He’ll never make us choose something against our will. I told her I didn’t have all the answers. I just know these things for sure in this life: Jesus knows your name, he knows the story of your life, and he loves you a lot. I really felt like we were communicating, and it was super exciting breakthrough, at least for me.
Karina was done working and we began our afternoon adventure. We first went to the grocery store and she showed me how to choose the poblanos that aren’t too spicy and got the rest of the things we’d need for lunch. Then we came back to the house and she taught me how to make two different kinds of chiles poblanos. I felt like I was with my aunt or something as we talked about cooking and life and how she got to BT and her kids…it was such real life and I loved it. We had an amazing meal, and spent about 7 hours together all said and done. I can’t wait to have the house over in Aquiles so that’s a normal occurrence.
I read this writing this week, and it really made me think about how my heart feels, especially being in BT the last two years. It’s from Steven James’ book Story.
Lover of my soul, I’ve been unfaithful.
Flirting with the lurid promises
Of fortune and glory and passion and fame,
Of lust and pride and greed and comfort.
I’ve followed them into the bedroom
Where I think no one will find me.
Where I hope you’re not watching.
Where we live out our fantasies together.
I’ve slept in the arms of so many lovers
But they’ve left me hollowed out,
A corpse and an empty casing tumbling in the wind.
I’ve cheated on you again and again.
In the red-light district of my soul.
On Sunday, I went to pick up Karina for our planned lunch at my house. She was working when I got there, so that was a little awkward. We had about an hour to wait, so Erin and I made our way back to Liliana’s room. I had planned to see her, so I brought some sheets for her and a lipstick case that secretly had $10 stashed in it. She liked the color of lipstick, the sheets were “priceless” to her, and the $10 let her know that God loves her and so do I (her words, not mine). That was her rent money, and I think she was genuinely happy. I think she invited me and Erin for lunch on Thursday – I’ll probably never want for food as long as I have friends in BT. ☺ Erin asked Liliana if she had a dream for her life. She quickly replied that she’d open a restaurant with her son and serve Cuban food. (She is very proud to be from Cuba.) Please, God, let it be. I know it seems impossibly far away for Liliana, but all things are possible with God.
I also talked to Paolina yesterday. I think that was the first time we’ve ever had a real conversation. She’s normally pretty distant with me. Though, last week, Erin and I were in there and she was watching LOST. This was naturally an instant connection point for us. ☺ I think that might have won her over as I gushed in my broken Spanish about how much I love Sawyer. And Jack. And the whole show. Maybe it made us both more human for a moment. Yesterday, I was really surprised at how she just opened up to me. One minute we were talking about my little dog and her cat, the next she was saying, “I just don’t understand why life is like this, Kelly. Why did God put me here?” Well, I thought she’d never ask! I pulled out Spanish I didn’t know I had as we sat and talked about the deep questions of life and what it’s all about. She always thought that God put everything in our lives, even the bad things that happen. I told her about my brother and how he had been murdered only 10 days before I moved here. I still don’t understand all of it, but I do know that Jesus asked me to be here to share His love with the precious people of BT. I told her that there is a whole world that we can’t see; we don’t need to be afraid of it, but we need to know that there are other forces besides God at work. I told her the enemy only wants to destroy and kill and rob our lives. God only wants what’s best for us. He didn’t make us robots, so we’d have to choose Him. But we have to choose Him; He’ll never make us choose something against our will. I told her I didn’t have all the answers. I just know these things for sure in this life: Jesus knows your name, he knows the story of your life, and he loves you a lot. I really felt like we were communicating, and it was super exciting breakthrough, at least for me.
Karina was done working and we began our afternoon adventure. We first went to the grocery store and she showed me how to choose the poblanos that aren’t too spicy and got the rest of the things we’d need for lunch. Then we came back to the house and she taught me how to make two different kinds of chiles poblanos. I felt like I was with my aunt or something as we talked about cooking and life and how she got to BT and her kids…it was such real life and I loved it. We had an amazing meal, and spent about 7 hours together all said and done. I can’t wait to have the house over in Aquiles so that’s a normal occurrence.
I read this writing this week, and it really made me think about how my heart feels, especially being in BT the last two years. It’s from Steven James’ book Story.
Lover of my soul, I’ve been unfaithful.
Flirting with the lurid promises
Of fortune and glory and passion and fame,
Of lust and pride and greed and comfort.
I’ve followed them into the bedroom
Where I think no one will find me.
Where I hope you’re not watching.
Where we live out our fantasies together.
I’ve slept in the arms of so many lovers
But they’ve left me hollowed out,
A corpse and an empty casing tumbling in the wind.
I’ve cheated on you again and again.
In the red-light district of my soul.
I have been on the hunt for property in Aquiles Serdan (the neighborhood that is home to Boys Town) since I got back to Mexico. The original property I was looking at was sold to a car painting shop apparently. I'm not overly disappointed, as I sense the Lord at work on this whole project. I did find another piece of property much thanks to a little guy on the street named Alfredo. (He is now affectionately known as CrazyFreddyTheCarwashGuy in my journal. His not-so-toothy-grin is forever etched in my memory.) I made an offer on this piece of land about two blocks from BT. I'm just waiting to hear back from the owner, hopefully today, on whether or not she'll accept.
One thing I really love about this property: it’s just down the street from a part of the wall of BT that has a crack in it. The “crack” is more like a hole, and I’ve seen a few people coming and going through it…significant. It’s like we’ve found a crack in the wall, a weakness in the very thing that imprisons the people of BT, and it just seems significant to me. It’s also located right along the dividing line of Aquiles Serdan and Carmen Serdan, colonias (neighborhoods) named for the brother/sister duo that fought for the rights of the poor and oppressed during the Revolution against Profiero Diaz way back when. Even to the point of Carmen taking a male pseudonym to publish literature and be a voice for the oppressed, and Aquiles posing as a grieving widow in order to travel safely between the command posts during the days leading up to The Revolution. The whole area is named after Revolutionaries, people not afraid to even give their lives for the sake of the poor and oppressed, the forgotten ones. I love it. Though now it is known as the place no one leaves, soon the Lord will give this neighborhood a new name by His own mouth (Is 62), and it will be known as the place from which new creations are sent out, to share the redemptive love and resurrection life of Jesus Christ with the many other broken, hurting, forgotten, poor and oppressed people of the world.
Say a prayer today that God will make a way for our modern-day monastery to be built. Updates to follow...
One thing I really love about this property: it’s just down the street from a part of the wall of BT that has a crack in it. The “crack” is more like a hole, and I’ve seen a few people coming and going through it…significant. It’s like we’ve found a crack in the wall, a weakness in the very thing that imprisons the people of BT, and it just seems significant to me. It’s also located right along the dividing line of Aquiles Serdan and Carmen Serdan, colonias (neighborhoods) named for the brother/sister duo that fought for the rights of the poor and oppressed during the Revolution against Profiero Diaz way back when. Even to the point of Carmen taking a male pseudonym to publish literature and be a voice for the oppressed, and Aquiles posing as a grieving widow in order to travel safely between the command posts during the days leading up to The Revolution. The whole area is named after Revolutionaries, people not afraid to even give their lives for the sake of the poor and oppressed, the forgotten ones. I love it. Though now it is known as the place no one leaves, soon the Lord will give this neighborhood a new name by His own mouth (Is 62), and it will be known as the place from which new creations are sent out, to share the redemptive love and resurrection life of Jesus Christ with the many other broken, hurting, forgotten, poor and oppressed people of the world.
Say a prayer today that God will make a way for our modern-day monastery to be built. Updates to follow...
